Tamao
by Lillythemarshmellowqueen
Summary: Series of oneshot song fics about Tamao. Pairing: TamaoX anyone execept Yoh.


**Um.. yeah I know I should be updating my previous stories… but this idea once again popped into my head and of course had to write. This is a series of one shots – song fics- completely unrelated to one another about Tamao and how she finally realizes that she cannot be with Yoh. its Tamao X anyone and the updates will be few and far between , let me just tell you now! **

**I wasn't sure what to rate this because there are mentions of adult themes not to mention some mild.. very mild yaoi and twincest but whatever…**

**Disclaimer: well I don't wear a sign or anything saying I own Shaman king so maybe I don't ?**

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**I will love again**

It was nearing midnight when Tamao had gotten up for a drink of water and seen the couple walk in they took no notice of her, standing in the corridor she was like a piece of furniture. And she had just stood there, her month hanging open in shock. And she stood there her heart breaking, all her dreams shattered all the fantasies of Anna Some how leaving and Yoh finally falling for her. Instead of breaking down crying she just stood there not knowing what to do, what was there to do?

After all Tamao knew Anna and Yoh were engaged? How could she have thought he would accept her? After Standing for an hour just starring at the closed door, she got up from her seat on the ground. She walked unsteadily towards the door and knocked on it her hand shook as she did.

'What am I doing?' she asked herself.

But some part of her had already decided what she had to do.

A little flushed and baffled Yoh opened the door with only his trouser pulled hastily on. Tamao just stood there once again. And Yoh just kept looking.

**Did I ever tell you?**

**How you liven me**

**Every waking moment **

**Even in my dreams**

"Yoh...I..," Tamao faltered.

"Yes?" he asked uneasily, the girl in front of him looked like she was steeling herself to say something.

Yoh was confused what was Tamao doing here?

Then he remembered, his eyes were locked on to Anna as they entered his room but there was some one in back ground? Tamao!

"Yoh I have to tell you some thing..."

**And if all this talk is crazy **

**And you don't know what I mean**

**Does it really matter? **

**Just as long as I believe**

"Yoh I have lived in your house in Izumo , I lived with you and Anna here..." her voice trailed of. Yoh was even more confused now, what was she getting at?

Tamao felt like falling, closing her eyes and never waking up. She was a little glad it was Yoh and not Anna, the girl thought she could never face Anna. She knew Anna was listening though. She began again "Yoh, I want to tell you s... Some..thing ..." she took a deep breath. "Yoh... I have seen you trough out my life and I have admired you so much and There was once a time when I... I loved you... "There was an awkward yet deathly Silence.

And then Tamao said it all in a Rush before she could chicken out

"And I want you too know that I will always love you even if you don't , I understand now, you have Anna and I'm just a friend I'll leave tomorrow goodbye Yoh" with that She gave him a swift kiss on the Cheek and turned away. Tears falling thick, with out looking where she was going she went into her room and collapsed onto her bed.

But her bed felt oddly warm, Tamao was a little confused as to why but she was so tired mentally and physically she couldn't even raised her head to find out why. As she lay in the bed small sobs shaking her body, Tamao decided something.

**I will love again**

**Though my heart is breaking**

**I will love again**

**Stronger than before**

She felt movement beside her and her breath caught in her throat. A hand was raised to her face. She opened her eyes only to meet eyes so dark they were almost black.

'Yoh?'

For a minute her heart skipped a beat and she thought it was Yoh, but then she realized someone else was in her bed. " Hao ? What are you doing in my bed?"

She might have thought him up some mischief but he looked as surprised as Tamao felt. "I could ask you the same question?" he responded. Tamao opened her mouth to say something but found she had nothing to say, she was the one feeling confused now. Why was Hao in her bed and why was he saying she was in his? And then she suddenly remembered she had walked into the first room she saw this wasn't her room it was Hao's!

Realizing this Tamao suddenly got up or rather tried for Hao held her arm and pulled her right back down. She fell with a thud very similar to some that had been coming from Yoh Anna's room. She blushed in the dark just thinking about it. Hope fully Anna and Yoh would think it was Horo and Ren the only other two occupants of the house and vice versa.

"Where are you going?" Hao asked not unkindly, yet a little force fully.

"Gomen Hao-kun I thought this was my room! I'll leave!" she tried to get up again but Hao's other hand took hold of her arm. Now she really was trapped, of course she could always scream if Hao tried anything.

"Don't leave, I want to know what happened to make you cry so much and actually come into my room?"

when Tamao didn't answer just let more tears escape down her cheeks, which she know noticed were quite red and puffy, Hao said" fine don't tell me I'll just read your mind!" and before Tamao could prepare her self to block him he had already done it.

"Ah... I see..."

"No! You don't see! You don't know how much I loved him! I gave up everything for him! Do you know what it's like to love but not get it in return? Do you-" a hand was clapped over her mouth.

"Shhh... Do you want the whole house to hear you Tamao-Chan?" Hao asked pulling her face closer to his own. She shook her head meekly.

"And as for your last question I do!"

"What?" Tamao asked

"I do know what is like to love but not get it in return." he said this in a sad tone which she had not noticed ever before tamao realized that look in his eye as he looked at Yoh , it was the same way she felt. Maybe they were not so different.

**I will love again**

**Even if it takes a lifetime to get over you**

**Heaven only knows**

**I will love again**

**People never tell you...**

**The way they truly feel **

**I will die for you gladly**

**If I knew it was for real.**

So Hao loved his brother too? Tamao didn't know what to think or what to do. She felt too tired to get up yet something else kept her there. Maybe it knew someone else felt like her and was in similar pain. Or may be it was his reassuring warmth. In any case Tamao felt a little better, Hao smiled in a very Yoh like manner and Tamao felt her heart do a summersault, it never did that when Yoh smiled at her

Suddenly she tried to get up again she couldn't take it here she was in love's brother's bed things couldn't get anymore absurd? Could they?

She tried to sit up but was pulled right back down again and this time he pulled her closer making her blush deepen she turned her face away and whispered pleadingly

"Hao? Please can I go?"

His surprising reply was "no"

"but w-why not?" her voice shook as she tried to pull away.

**So if all this talk sounds crazy**

**And the words don't come out right **

**Does it really matter?**

**If it gets me through the night**

**I will love again**

**Though my heart is breaking **

**I will love again**

**Stronger than before **

**I will love again**

**Even if it takes a lifetime to get over you**

**Heaven only knows**

"Because I'm afraid that if I let you go you might injure yourself in your grief or worse do something stupid like run away." he stated matter of factly.

Tamao turned and looked at him straight in the eyes, was he being sincere? She couldn't tell. Although she had been subconsciously thinking of going outside with no clear plan.

**If I'm true to myself nobody else**

**Can take the place of you**

**But I've got to move on **

**Tell me what else can I do?**

"At least let me sit up?" she sighed

And he moved away letting her sit up and rest her head against the bed post.

"So you were thinking along these lines?" he asked also sitting up beside her. She nodded.

**I will love again**

**Though my heart is breaking **

**I will love again**

**Stronger than before**

**I will love again**

Suddenly she started talking explaining to him how much she'd been in love and he listened to it all with a sympathetic nod. Tamao found it easier to talk to Hao than anyone else even though he did not say anything she felt a little better, a little.

When she came to a stop at how the two had gone in to Yoh's room, Hao chuckled and looked out his window at the rain drops clinging to the glass. They were quite for a while until Hao pointed out jokingly " I hope their careful...we don't want them to have children just yet!"

Tamao didn't answer; when Hao looked over he saw her silently crying with a far away look in her eye.

"Tamao? He called softly at first. She didn't respond. "Tamao!" he called again much louder, he was now on his hands and knees looking at her, he waved a hand in front of her face. "Tamao!!" as loud as he dared. She still wouldn't respond. She had a silent yet faraway look on her face as tears flowed freely down her cheeks, clutching the sheets her hands shook, a dejected and hopeless look entering her eye. Hao gave her hand one last tug. "You might regret not listening to me"

Without warning he leaned in closer and Tamao who had been staring of into space didn't have time to flinch back. Only when his lips met hers in a gentle kiss, did the shaman girl realize what happened. Her trance broke and her eyes widened, it was her first kiss, one she had hoped to share with Yoh, but one she returned. Hao broke their kiss and moved back a little as Tamao blushed beetroot red. 'Why?' her eyes seemed to ask.

"You seemed to have lost it... It was the only thing I could think of to snap you out of it! You being so irresistible and all..." he said making her if that was possible blush even more.

**Even if it takes a lifetime to get over you**

**Heaven only knows**

Tamao looked at the fire shaman, really looked at him and realized the cold hearted, evil Hao had cheeks tinted with pink as well but he wouldn't look away. She herself when seeing him look into her eyes turned away not knows what to say after what had just happened._ '...you being so irresistible and all...'_

_'Is that really what he said'_ she thought,_ 'irresistible me?' _

'_Am I being shallow?'_ she asked herself 'he_ looks like Yoh so I do the same thing I did before? Just because my first try failed should I not try again? Yoh's great but can he stop me from going on?'_

**You can't stop me from**

**Loving again**

**Breathing again**

**Feeling again**

**Even if it takes a lifetime to get over you**

**Heaven only knows**

The answer was 'No'. Tamao would love again. And as if to prove her point, she turned and hugged Hao. "Thank you Hao for being there" she said into his shoulder. He pulled out of the embrace and said "and arigato Tamao-chan for being mine." she blushed again as he pulled her in to another kiss, this one he deepened in to more. Tamao was still blushing but this time she didn't care. They had some how sidled back to lying in the bed instead of sitting ,Tamao lay her head down and the two curled up together, their dreams filled with each other.

**If I'm true to myself nobody else**

**Can take the place of you**

**But I've got to move on **

**Tell me what else can I do?**

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**Lilly: Okay now review to either tell me how bad it was or how great? **

**Constructive critique much appreciated.**

**REVIEW!!!!**


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